i'ts been real

Greetings loved ones, let's take a journey...

...over to my new blog!

As you may have noticed, I don't post on here very much anymore, and I regret that because I do have a lot to say and the internet provides a lovely outlet for all of my opinions and thoughts and such. And apparently, there are a handful of people who actually like reading my rants and ramblings.

So firstly, thanks to anybody who actually reads this.

Secondly, I'm sorry I'm abandoning this blog. Blogspot is actually such a hassle you wouldn't even believe.

Thirdly, my new blog is the plaid nerd. It is a tumblr, but not actually because I'm not just posting pictures and all that usual tumblr nonsense. Tumblr is very easy to use, and that's why I chose it for my blogging needs.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I'm not deleting this blog purely for nostalgic purposes; it's a snapshot of who I was and what I went through my freshman year of high school. After I post this, I'll probably parouse down memory lane and sift through my old posts. I never did finish that blog challenge. I'll start one on my new blog to make up for it, promise.

Cheers,

Tess

hansen keohane, no pain no gain.

Ranting time!

So. If anybody knows me personally, they know I'm a competitive Irish dancer. They know this entails a ginger wig that looks like a small, dead animal, lots of foot ADD and terms nobody can pronounce (ceilis = kay-lees and oireachtas = o-rock-tuhs). They know I sacrifice my Friday nights and my Saturday mornings, my feet and my sanity to Irish dance. They know I obsess over getting steps right, that I hum along to the music as I dance and I love gossiping with my outrageous dance friends on water break.

They also know how angry I get when someone refers to what I do as Riverdancing (just to set the record straight: Riverdance was the popular show that aired in 1995 and caused Irish dance to become more popular. It is a show, not a type of dance. It's like saying someone who acts in musicals is Broadwaying) or leprechauns or pretend that they know how because they've seen Papelbon's giddy Shippin' Up to Boston celebration in 2007. 

Those people piss me off because they think it's a joke, some weird little accordion thing that pale people do in their spare time. They don't respect it, or appreciate exactly how much effort and dedication all us dancers invest in our classes and competitions. They just hop around, imitating the Lucky Charms guy, with a big idiot grin on their faces as if we're supposed to find their ignorance amusing.  

Then there are the people who go around writing negative articles and shaking their heads at the competitive world of Irish dance. We've evolved greatly from the days of lace dresses ad obscurity; now, we apply tanner to our legs and faces, apply various powder and liquid makeup to accentuate our features, buy dresses that, on a good day, might cost less than a thousand dollars. People shake their heads at our Snookified skin and our rhinestoned dresses and ask, "Where'd the culture go?" As if Irish dance has become just another beauty pageant, as if it's become more about the bling than the dancing. Last time I checked, it takes infinitely more skill to perform toe stands and clicks than it does to smile and wave at a judge. 

Irish dancers are working harder than ever; it's grown from a simple pastime to an athletic activity, complete with taped knees and bleeding toes. Just because we wear expensive dresses and put on some lip liner doesn't mean we've lost our way; we've just caught up with the rest of the dance world (you want somebody to hate, try the ballroom dancing community--rumor has it they make little girls wear padded bras). We don't deserve all this hate and all this prejudice. Until you've spent a solid two hour practice inside the studio with me, practicing your shuffles until you can't see straight, then I don't want to hear a word.

And also, just because we're not wearing harps or Irish lace or whatever doesn't mean the "culture's gone", assholes. The culture's still very much alive; in the music and in our passion.

I mean, you do really think I would dedicate so much time to this if I didn't have Irish pride?

Good luck to anybody competing in the Oireachtas this weekend! Break legs.

shit, i have a blog.

BRO.

How y'all doing, interwebs?

I would apologize for not blogging, but I don't feel particularly guilty. There are more important stressful things going on in my life right now, such as essays and tests and oral presentations and trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me. It's been a losing battle so far with the panic attacks so far, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.

In other news...

• I got a kitten. His name is Figaro, after the cat in Pinocchio and he is adorable. I've officially begun my life as a cat lady. Wish me luck!
• I turned sixteen. LEARNER'S PERMIT WOOT WOOT.
• I was a cowgirl for Halloween.
• Struggling fiercely with insomnia.
• Physics sucks.
• I'm doing NaNoWriMo! 11,000 words and counting. 
• Irish Dance regionals are next weekend, and I'm beyond excited.
• I went to SpookyWorld: Fear at Fenway on Sunday night. It was both the funnest and scariest experience of my life thus far.
• I read Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky. It has changed my life, like Ari said it would. 
• I met a lovely Floridan who helps me deal with my life daily. She's never seen snow.

So, yup, that's what you missed on Tess.

regret

Everybody tells me to live life without regrets; that you need to take chances and risks and make mistakes and a bunch of Hallmark junk about carpe diem and life's too short.

I honestly don't believe that you can live life without regrets, because you never know which choices you will regret making, or which mistakes will turn into the best memories. You never know what you will regret until it's over and done with, and trying to prevent the inevitable is simply a waste of time.

For example, say that you're given the opportunity to go sky-diving (a favorite on the bucket lists, I'm sure). And you say to yourself, Well, golly, I don't want to not go and then spend my whole life regretting the fact I missed out. So you go. And your parachute fails, and you crash into a barn and spend the rest of your life breathing through a straw in order to maneuver your power chair.

Now tell me, would you regret that decision?

It's impossible to tell which decisions we will be happy with, and which will lie heavy on our conscience. The average human makes 612 decisions a day; you can't spend all of those 612 decisions wisely, because you are human and therefore, imperfect.

Life is not all sparkles, sunshine and unicorns. You let down your friends, yell at your parents, fail a test. It happens to the best of us. You regret these things, of course you do. Nobody likes failing, making mistakes, lashing out.

But it happens. Regret happens.

I don't understand why people shun regret. I feel sorry for it; it's the one human emotion we don't try to justify or accept. It is the bastard of the feeling family, through no fault of it's own. Regret is natural; it is also a teacher.

"Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

If you never made mistakes, if you have never regretted a decision, than you will never be wise. And I am by no means saying I am wise--at sixteen, I haven't lived much yet--but one day, I intend to be wise, and I will never get there if I continue to banish regret like everybody else.

these are a few of my favorite things

Sophmore year starts tomorrow, and I'm in a surprisingly good mood because a) I have lots of new clothes from Forever 21 and b) we're having burritos and mac and cheese for dinner. YUMS IN A CAN.

Anyways, this is my 100th post! I'm going to borrow this idea and make a list of 10 things and people that i think are beautiful. Yeahhhh buddy. Here we go.

1. thunderstorms.

2. marilyn monroe.

3. my sister.


4. emma watson.

5. beautiful mess by jason mraz

6. www.letterstocrushes.com

7. fairytales.

8. kissing

9. the wonderful world of harry potter.

10. nerds, dorks, geeks & freaks.

and you.

you're beautiful:)

suburban streets

Part of me is glad that school is starting again, because then I won't waste my time on the internet as much. 

I seriously need to get a life.

I haven't spent my whole summer Facebook stalking, though. I did something productive and took driver's ed a few weeks ago! It was astoundingly dull and highly entertaining at the same time, thanks to ridiculous videos, chicken nuggets and amazing doodling skills. One of the best quotes of the week was, "Don't beep in Texas...they all have guns."

I'm going to be getting my permit soon, and if all goes well, my license by the end of this school year. I'll be tooling around the suburban streets in my mother's minivan, but I'm so beyond excited to actually drive. For most of my friends, a license symbolizes an escape; they can finally get away from their parents and their home. And while I'm sure I will do my fair share of escaping, I look at it more as another step in maturity, not a device that should be used to run away from parents and problems. I mean, honestly, I could kill someone with my dorky minivan. There is a hell of a lot of power behind the wheel of a car, and I don't want to abuse that power by pulling one of those I-HATE-MY-LIFE-SO-IMMA-DRIVE-AWAY-FOREVER scenes that you see in all the teen movies. 

Driving gives you liberty, but comes at the price of gas, which is outrageous (I feel really grown-up when I complain about gas prices). 

And wear your seatbelts, please. And watch this video.

PS this is my 99th post!

wake me up when september ends.

So, my dears, it's the last day of August.

In a couple of hours, September will roll around and we will moan and groan as we pack away the sandals and the sun screen. We will watch our tans fade and start to wear jeans, missing the sunshine and the sandy toes and sleeping in. School will start, and so will all the stress. We'll all become walking zombies, tripping down the halls and staggering up the stairs.

And despite all this, fall is my favorite season.

I love it when the air smells like fresh apples and the leaves burn bright orange before they die. I love sweatshirts and my birthday and Halloween and scary movies; I love Friday night football games and Thanksgiving. I even love the first few days of school, when all the notebooks are still fresh and all my pens still work and I get to reconnect with everyone I haven't seen over the summer. Admittedly, the newness of school wears off pretty fast, considering this is my tenth year in the public education system.

Summer is beautiful and wild, but don't forget autumn is gorgeous and graceful.

in the middle of september, we still play out in the rain...nothing to lose but everything to gain.