a beautiful mess



excuse my friend's misspelling of "parties." He's a good guy.



My motto recently as been "If I were a goldfish, I wouldn't have these problems."

Life for a goldfish is so damn easy. They swim around with plastic pebbles. They eat little food flakes and stare out at the world and they never have to stress or worry about anything. They also never have to pay attention, because they literally can't remember anything within a three second time span, but that's besides the point.

Goldfish don't have messy lives. We have messy lives.

Life isn't black and white. You can follow the directions and still fail. That's why we save twice and cross fingers and say prayers. We're all afraid of messing up, because that gray area is so massive and we're so small and there's no guarentees in this crazy life we're all currently sharing.

Life is messy because emotions are messy. Girls love boys that don't love them back. Boys hate boys for loving boys. Mothers yell at their children. Children let their mothers down. Friends tell secrets and lies.

And none of it's fair. It's painful. It hurts. You are little and you get lost.

But there's beauty in the pain. There is. You just have to look for it. You have to understand that we're all stuck in this life together, so we have to truly appreciate what and who we have, because true happiness doesn't come from wishes coming true or prayers being answered. It comes from loving your life exactly the way it is, flaws and all.

Listen Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz. It's an absolutely gorgeous song.