rex ryan

I will be in some form of hibernation for the next few days, because the Patriots are not advancing to the AFC Championship.

I've been sitting in the dark for the past few minutes, leaving an explicit and detailed voicemail on my friend's phone and yelling at my mother to go smirk to herself upstairs, because she finds this all very amusing.

I swear to God, if the name Rex Ryan is ever mentioned in my presence again...

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 ^ This will happen. I don't even know what that'll look like, but I'm fairly certain it won't be pretty.

God only knows what I'll do if they make it to the SuperBowl...